They say, "No one is illegal!"

They say, "Wouldn't you do the same thing in their place?"

They're right!

I would do the same thing if I were in their place.

So, sometime next week I think I'll head out in search of "a better life for myself".

I don't need a skill, or a qualification or a BSc, or an MA, or a Phd -- just a crowbar!

I'll pick a nice home and use my crowbar to enter it illegally.

If it's your home, don't worry. I'm not going to hurt anyone or steal anything.

After all, I'm not a criminal. I just want "a better life for myself."

So, I'm just going to live with you!

While living with you, I'll clean your house, cook your meals, cut your grass and do any number of odd jobs that "you don't want to do".

So you should be happy to have me living with you, even if I am there illegally.

Since my wife and other family members want "a better life" also, I am going to have her, our children, my parents, her parents, some aunts and uncles, cousins and other members of my extended family move in also.

Don't worry about being crowded.

We can live 10-15 to a room and the rest of the house is yours.

You might not like the way I look, dress, talk, the music I listen to or the way I behave, but you should be thanking me for the cultural diversity that is enriching your life.

If I get sick, don't worry about getting stuck with bills. I'll just go to the emergency room. I'm sure the hospital will find a way to pass my expenses along to others.

Since I'm not paying taxes and your law requires my children to be in school, then you should pay for my children's education.

Isn't that what you pay taxes for?

One last thing you need to understand.

If you do or say anything that offends me, even though I am living in your home illegally, then you are a racist!

I will call the police and the Commission for Racial Equality, and sue you for discrimination and violating my human rights, and I will get you convicted for "inciting racial hatred".

If you try to have me evicted from your house, I'll charge you with a "hate crime".

Just remember, I am not a criminal! I am not illegal!

I just want "a better life for myself."