However, I do have standards!

I do analyse all the films I watch, because contrary to what some people say, no film is "only a film". Every film is a cultural event. Every film is political. Films mirror society and they lead society. Films influence people in all manner of ways, from copying a hairstyle to copying behaviour. I know that is true, because films influence me!

Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool or a deceiver.

I do require films to have passable acting, decent script, and a good storyline which can be followed. That should not be asking too much. If a film is spectacular, so much the better. Spectacle is good for me!

In my moral universe, a film has to leave one feeling good, uplifted, perhaps guided to proper thought and action, perhaps a stronger or better human being, or perhaps left with a thought-provoking puzzle about the nature of our existence -- although please, not too puzzling.

This film has spectacle, certainly. That is really the only thing it has got.

The acting is OK, although there are only 3 main roles -- the good guy, the main bad guy and the woman.

The script and storyline are dire. The script, such as it is, is only there to tie together the shoot-outs. The first words which come out of the mouth of Clive Owen is "Fxxxxx' hell". It goes downhill from there.

Morally, it's what religious people would call, full of sin!

Here the writer and director Michael Davis has got to be panned. Really, what goes through his head to "write" this deranged crap? And to think he got paid for it as well!

I've already explained the gist of this film, but it's complicated by some kind of plot, which I am not ashamed to say, went right over my head. Something to do with babies being bred for their bone marrow because someone needed it, or was going to sell it, or whatever, and this was somehow tied in with the Democratic Presidential candidate who was running on an anti-gun platform, or perhaps a pro-gun platform for bone marrow sufferers, or something totally bewildering.

The action isn't to be taken seriously. It is one of those films where the over-the-top violent scenes, often tinged with sadism, are also meant to be faintly amusing. For example, Mr Smith likes eating carrots. He eats carrots a lot. Indeed, he kills a bad guy by forcing a carrot into a bad guy's mouth, then punching the carrot with such force that it exits through the back of the bad guy's head…Excuse me? Yes, that's what I said! So really, what is there to say, seriously, about a film like this?

Well, certainly enough to fill up this web page for a few more paragraphs because this film is full of morally questionable scenes -- and I am not just talking about the endless piles of dead bodies.

Firstly, a sign of a morally suspicious film in our modern era, is when all the bad guys -- and there are a lot of them -- are white. This suggests that the director is either too politically-correct to make black people look bad, or he has some kind of anti-white hang-up or agenda. This anti-white tendency is carried to its logical conclusion with a final scene which involves grotesque caricatures of the white "hillbilly/redneck" Hollywood staple.

Necrophilia alert: There is also one totally unnecessary and gratuitous scene where the bad guy, played by Paul Giamatti, puts his hand on the naked breast of a murdered woman and appears to be sexually gratified. Hello! I came here to see a shoot-out spectacle -- which to an extent I got -- I didn't come to see the necrophiliac fantasies of writer and director Michael Davis! I'll say that scene is unacceptable, if no-one else will!

Tiresome-liberal-propaganda alert: Mr Smith tells us directly that rich people are rich because they got that way by screwing everyone else -- generally that's communist crap, although it's perhaps correctly applied to the makers of films like this! He also suggests that spanking your child is wrong. Both of which demonstrate that writer and director Michael Davis isn't just trying to make a mindlessly violent film, but is concerned deliberately to insert his none-too-subtle political beliefs at the same time.

The film suggests that prostitutes are as healthy and as good-looking as the one here played by Monica Belluci, and have hearts of gold like her -- they're not, they're not, and they don't!

The bad guys appear to be establishment figures, including the Democratic Presidential candidate, the sort of figures in which we would normally be vesting our trust. The "corrupt and perverted establishment" is a common theme in modern films, and it probably contributes to the cynicism which many people have with modern politics.

Here's a thought: When are people going to make films about "the corrupt and perverted Hollywood elite" who churn out dubious rubbish like this? Oh, I forgot, it's the corrupt and perverted Hollywood elite who make the films in the first place!

Mr Smith flat out executes the Democratic Presidential candidate, in the cargo hold of an airplane! What the..! Why? I swear I am not sure, and I am certainly not going to watch it again to find out!

Of course, nothing about this film is even pretending to be realistic. It is only an anarchic romp. Trying to take it seriously is perhaps ridiculous. Slating its degeneracy is perhaps absurd. But then again, nothing is "only a film". They all matter.

The only reason to watch this film is to watch the shoot-out scenes, which are competently and entertainingly enough staged. Everything else, however, leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

Redeeming factors? Mmmm? Clive Owen has a nice leather jacket. That's one. His character appears to be quite brave. That's two. At the start of the film, he strides valiantly and chivalrously to the rescue of the pregnant woman who is being attacked. Perhaps in that sense, he is a role model…of sorts. Monica Belluci's bum looks good in a leather miniskirt. That's three. I'm struggling for a fourth…

OK, that's all folks. I've expended far too many words on this film, already. But if my efforts save just one person from wasting his or her £6, it will have been worth it.

Watch The Bourne Ultimatum instead…now there is a film…about a corrupt and perverted establishment!